Trust: The Big One
Every marriage at some time or another has gone through a period of mistrust when their spouse does something to cause us to mistrust. Often when a spouse is jealous of the other without cause, it means they don't trust themselves. The heart of the matter is we either trust our spouse or we don't.
Trust is not just a feeling; it is an action as well. Our actions show we trust each other, it means we feel confident to give them our trust. In marriage, trust should already be an established commitment between both spouses. The main way to keep trust strong in a marriage is to respect it. Acknowledge what you have even if it is not much. Don't allow anything to damage what trust you have, meaning, don't give your spouse any reason not to trust you. Be trustworthy. Don't lie or cheat. These never get you anywhere.
Trust should never be taken for granted either. There is so much security that trust brings. Taking trust for granted can cause a deeper hurt and trust being totally gone. Trust has to be earned and when earned, protected.
If we do lose trust in our spouse or our spouse loses trust in us, there are things we can do to build trust back into the relationship. We can be predictable. Anything we do out of the ordinary throw up red flags for the other. Things such as suddenly losing weight and dressing different, working later than normal, or having to go out of town on business more often. Let your spouse know when you will be unpredictable. Don't keep secrets from each other. Secrets always raise suspicion.
Trust. The first and absolute ingredient to building and maintaining a healthy relationship. Believe and trust in each other and the rest will follow.
Doreen Stoltz
2008